Where’s my wench?

BAR wenches and knights were nowhere to be seen at mock Tudor pub Last Drop in Beeliar, when the D’Angers dropped in recently.

This rather disappointed my mediaeval-mad brother and his wife, who’d had plenty of each at their wedding.

Regardless, the place was pumping and with the feasting-hall sized dining area full we were shown to an only slightly smaller room off the huge bar.

Luckily we’d booked because pretty soon there wasn’t a table to be had, pointing to the popularity of the place.

This is family-friendly feeding on a right royal scale, and there were plenty of ankle-biters amongst the rowdy revellers.

It’s said that Henry VIII’s appetite for women was matched only by his love for meat: the Tudor king fond of lopping off wifely heads may not have baulked at $40 a steak but it was a bit out of reach for this band of peasants.

Most of us ordered something unknown in 16th century England, a seafood basket ($25).

Hearty plates of battered seafood beat some with their generosity, but Warwick ploughed on, determined to miss nothing of the tasty morsels.

D’Angerous Dave had the fish and chips ($22). The fish was dry and the batter too oily, he sighed, pushing it aside and wistfully sighing he wish he could have cast it to the ground, to be devoured by wolfhounds.

A massive plate of chicken carbonara ($22) soon defeated another of our party: despite a valiant effort she could not finish.

My vegetarian pasta ($22) was one of the best I’ve had, a rich mix of roast pumpkin, spinach, roasted capsicum and mushrooms, beautifully complemented by pine nuts and a delicious pesto creme sauce.

I was stunned anyone could even think dessert but some bravely went forth and ate their way through a huge serve of chocolate brownie cake and sticky date pudding ($9).

Both were moist and delicious, and very, very rich.

Cocktails (just $8) are a selling point at Last Drop, and I had been looking forward to a mojita. Sadly it was violently sweet instead of sharp and minty. I guess it might go down well with young women raised on soft drink and alco-pops. Staff were super friendly but I expected more service than pouring out a slug and topping up the glass with soda. The mojito was left to languish and I instead sipped a very pleasant SBS ($8 a glass) for the rest of the evening.