Over the past four years as CEO of the Fremantle Chamber of Commerce, I have experienced vicious online trolls, stalking, threats at public events and physical violence.

I have endured personal attacks that have nothing to do with my professional decisions and everything to do with the apparent belief that a visible woman is an acceptable target. And yet, every day, I show up. I smile. I shake hands. I host events. I advocate fiercely for our businesses. I celebrate the achievements of others and proudly represent a community I love. What people don’t see is what happens behind that smile.

The conversations about personal safety. The security measures we have introduced at The Chamber. The heightened awareness of who is entering our building, events and the uncomfortable reality that being accessible can also make you vulnerable.

It is extraordinary that a community organisation dedicated to opening doors has had to consider how to keep some of them closed. And this is where I want to acknowledge something that is too rarely discussed. The men who stand beside women in leadership matter enormously.

I am fortunate to have exceptional men standing beside me, including our Chamber President, Ivan Dzeba, fellow Directors Jason Figliomeni and Roger Makins and City of Fremantle CEO Glen Dougall. These are men who understand that supporting a woman in leadership goes far beyond sitting around a boardroom table, endorsing a strategy or championing gender equality in principle. They demonstrate it through their actions, their integrity and their willingness to stand beside me when leadership becomes personally challenging. Quite simply, they look out for me.

They take threats seriously. They recognise when situations become uncomfortable. They understand that behind the confident CEO is a human being who should never have to normalise fear as part of her profession.

Importantly, they don’t diminish my authority by doing so. They strengthen it. Because genuine leadership isn’t about protecting women from difficult decisions, robust debate or accountability. It is about ensuring women can exercise their leadership without being subjected to intimidation, harassment or violence. And that distinction matters.

Research from Australia’s eSafety Commissioner found that 62 per cent of surveyed women with a public or media profile had experienced online abuse during their working lives. These are not simply nasty comments to be dismissed with a thicker skin. They can have profound consequences for women’s confidence, careers, mental health and physical safety. We speak endlessly about getting more women into leadership. More female CEOs. More women on boards. More women in politics and positions of influence. But perhaps we need to ask a much more uncomfortable question.

What are we doing to protect the women who have already had the courage to step forward?

Because appointing a woman to leadership is not the same as creating an environment in which she can safely lead. And celebrating her resilience while remaining silent about the abuse she endures is not support. It is complicity.

I have spent much of my career encouraging women to be ambitious, courageous and unapologetic about their capabilities. I believe passionately that women belong at every decision making table. But the responsibility for changing the culture cannot continue to fall on the shoulders of the very women who are bearing the brunt of its worst behaviour. We need more men in leadership, from colleagues and board directors to chairs and community leaders, who are prepared to stand up, speak out and make it unequivocally clear that intimidation, harassment and violence have absolutely no place in professional or public life. True allyship is not measured by what we say about equality, but by what we are prepared to do when it matters most.

Not because women are incapable of defending themselves. But because respect and safety are collective responsibilities, not individual survival skills.

I will continue to show up for Fremantle. I will continue to be visible, accessible, enthusiastic and passionate. And I will continue to smile. But please don’t mistake that smile for an absence of fear.

The attack on Helen Haines should force every organisation and every boardroom to consider what leadership really means. Because the true measure of an organisation is not simply how proudly it promotes women into leadership. It is how fiercely it stands beside them when leadership comes at a personal cost.

Women should never have to choose between being courageous and being safe. And the next generation of female leaders deserves to inherit boardrooms where that choice no longer exists.

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Women’s safety is paramount