Filletbustering

A MEATY parliamentary speech defending carnivorism by Tangney MP Ben Morton has gone viral, attracting 327,000 views on Facebook.

Recently People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals tweeted a plea for folk to stop using phrases like ‘bring home the bacon’ because they trivialised cruelty to animals.

PETA recommend replacing “kill two birds with one stone” with “feed two birds with one scone,”, “bring home the bacon” with “bring home the bagels”, and “take the bull by the horns” with “take the flower by the thorns”.

Mr Morton thought that was utter mince and skewered PETA during a short speech in parliament.

“I’m not usually one to ham it up, but the cat has been let out of the bag,” he said.

“We have reports of an organised campaign to change the way Australians speak by removing meat-related metaphors.

“It’s beyond a joke; it’s pathetic. I was shocked to learn that this forms part of the gender debate in this country, with one academic arguing for change saying, ‘meat is power and meat is for men’.

“Well, fair suck of the sav! Surely in this country we have bigger fish to fry than banning harmless descriptions.

“But these turkeys need to be called out early. Our goose is not yet cooked. I’m not replacing ‘all my eggs in one basket’ with ‘all your berries in a bowl’ or replacing ‘flog a dead horse’ with ‘feed a fed horse’.

“Ironically, that’s a quick way to kill one. I will continue to take the bull by the horns and try to kill two birds with one stone, and there will always be more than one way to skin a cat. “Long may the sensible and pragmatic outnumber the pork chops who, on this one, are quite clearly flogging a dead horse.”

Since the start of the year Mr Morton has shed a lot of weight, but says it’s definitely not attributable to veganism.

“I’ve been doing a lot of cycling,” he told the Herald.

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